Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Fuel Customer Priority
“photo coming sooner than you’d like”
Sporting Apostrophes, last season’s righteous division II champions, received a harsh welcome to life in the top tier, losing 6-3 to Fuel Customer Priority.
“Our squad oozes, nay, REEKS of quality, but to thrive in this winners’ league we need to redouble our efforts on the astroturf,” remarked chairman Ernest Borgnine at the post match sauna. “It’s not the start we were hoping for, but our morale is still sky-high, and I’m confident that it will remain so for at least another fortnight.”
Match highlights include: a commendable debut for Ford; Correa on the road to fitness; trademark non-stop running from Bell; top-drawer, disciplined defensive play from Tinsley; yet another improbable goal from “The Beast of Baltimore”; deluxe sheath targeting and man latex from Stickland.
The famous yellows’ introduction to top flight football ended in tears, a savage uppercut, a dagger to the heart of any lover of free-spirited, quality loveball. A terrible injustice!
Stats
Score: 3-6
Squad: Bell, Correa, Ford, Hinceman, Stickland, Tinsley.
Goals: Ford (1), Hinceman (1), Tinsley (1).