Match Report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Flat Back Four
“Hinceman’s 3-week promotional tour of North America began with an action-packed cameo for MLS side LA Soccerplanets”
Sporting Apostrophes produced an abundance of egg, a veritable footballing omelette, but failed to take home the bacon in last Sunday’s nail-biting encounter with Flat Back Four.
“It was so very close. I could taste the three points on the tip of my tongue, around my gummy teeth and even in the back of my throat,” protested chairman Ernest Borgnine, his grief as deep-seated and meaningful as that of a motherless child. “We’ve flirted with Lady Luck this season, but on too many occasions we’ve gone home with her brother, Dave Misfortune.”
A predictably excellent line-up graced the hallowed astroturf: a footballing hurricane, as devastating as Katrina, more intimidating than the mythical Boreas, Eurus, Notus and Zephyrus combined.
The entrée was a delightful spectacle, as the Apostrophes treated the capacity crowd and innumerable tellybox audience to some first class onionball.
“Hurrah!” shouted the partizan crowd, with considerable justification.
Onion bag violations flowed: stereo tip-tap from Pacheco, solitary Haley’s Comet from Farnsworth, but Flat Back Four responded with unjustness thrice.
Dessert began with a magnificent effort from Correa, a blistering run down the left channel. An Apostrophes victory looked certain, until two late, unjust goals from their opponents cheated them of the victory that was theirs by divine right.
With the halfway point of season V approaching, Sporting Apostrophes continue to linger uncomfortably close to the foot of the division II table. A terrible injustice!
Score: 4-5
Squad: Correa, Farnsworth, Hawkins, Hinceman, Pacheco, Stickland, Turner.
Goals: Pacheco (2), Correa (1), Farnsworth (1).