Sporting Apostrophes

Pele's love-children finally unite!

Posted on August 27, 2008

Miracle on Old Street

Posted under Injuries

Turner Ankle

“The Apostrophes Prosthetics Department works yet another miracle”

Following Sunday’s bullish, muscular performance against Oceans 11, Turner’s long-term injury worries appear to be behind him.

“It’s great to have him fit again,” opined chairman Ernest Borgnine, “but that 5-year contract he’s been angling for is now bumpaper in the groundsman’s outside toilet.”

Fans’ forums are ablaze with rumours that Turner is hoping to move “on a Bosman” at the end of the next season when his £250,000-a-week contract expires.

One Response to “Miracle on Old Street”

  1. Midnight Beardsley Says:

    Yon Turnip’s new ankle is actually made from reclaimed bits of the notoriously-bionic Queen Mother making him technically 1,237th in line to the throne – FACT.