Sporting Apostrophes

Pele's love-children finally unite!

Posted on May 21, 2008

Squad news

Posted under Injuries, Team news


“You rotter, don’t punish me!”

Probable line-up (one additional player TBC):


Unsubstantiated rumours persist of a freak training ground incident that may sideline midfield engine Turner for Sunday’s game. More news when we have it.

5 Responses to “Squad news”

  1. Furious D Says:

    Apostrophes Confident Over Turner

    A violent training ground incident with leading goalscorer Simon McInerney has cast a major doubt over the fitness of star tea boy Duncan Turner for this weekends vital clash.

    Having won the ball in a routine exercise, Turner was maliciously butted to the upper part of the left arm by the notoriously cynical McInerney.

    Turner was left writhing in agony after the incident and had to be stretchered from the field of play for further treatment.

    Initial fears of a broken arm were soon allayed, but an unrepentant McInerney exclaimed “Next time he tries that I’ll kill his children and his children’s children”.

    Player/Manager Mil Hawkins was unavailable for comment but a club source was confident Turner would be fit for Sunday.


  2. Midnight Beardsley Says:

    Never encountered such foppishness. The tabloid press have reported, as they do, that which others fear to say, namely that Turner called for bandages and then sent them away for ‘clashing with his eye-shadow’.

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