Sporting Apostrophes

“A right pain in the George Michael”

Top scorer and chain smoker McInerney is a major doubt for Sunday’s league fixture following a freak arse injury.

“I was just parking the motor, when, upon depressing the clutch, I felt a real tightness in me arse cheek,” he wailed.

Scurrilous tabloid rumours suggest the injury was caused during rehearsals for a new goal celebration dubbed “reverse midnight Beardsley.” Another far more sinister rumour points towards retribution from an irate Turner, still smarting from the training ground bust-up reported earlier this week.

McInerney will face a rigorous examination and fitness test from the physio Brian Broadfinger (pictured).