Sporting Apostrophes

“I poke out my eyes in shame!”
To the dismay of the capacity crowd, the nine-goal thriller against Sugary Tea ended in defeat for the Super A’s.

“It’s an outrage” fumed chairman Ernest Borgnine. “Our performance today was outstanding; flair, commitment, passion… with the exception of fitness, we had it all!”

The first half started promisingly. McInerney and Bonell proved a genuine goal threat, with ample supply from midfield maestro Turner. Diepeveen clearly understood the fundamentals of goalkeeping, and, with help from Hawkins at the back, it looked like the onion bag would not be violated for some time.

After five minutes, a deft touch (possibly an accidental deflection) from Bonell, followed by a well-placed shot from McInerney made it 1-0 to the Apostrophes. Unfortunately, the clearly corrupt referee chose to gift, I repeat for emphasis, GIFT the Teas five goals within the space of the next ten minutes. Substitute Kimberley’s relentless running, puffing, panting and sweating made little impact, and the infidel referee blew for half time with the score a miserable 1-5.

The second half saw Hawkins don the sweat-ridden goalie gloves, and, with a brief review of tactics, thing were definitely looking up. McInerney responded to the sixth Sugary Tea goal with a real howitzer, and only missed out on a hattrick thanks to a missed penalty later in the half. Turner’s energetic display looked like it could reap dividends, until the Teas promptly added a seventh. Dignity was (kind of, barely) spared with a penalty save by Hawkins late in the game.

Sporting Apostrophes remain rooted to the foot of the table. A terrible injustice!

Score: 2-7
Squad: Bonell, Diepeveen, Hawkins, Kimberley, McInerney, Turner.
Goals: McInerney (2)