Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Centrepoint FC
“awaiting photo”
Sporting Apostrophes were awarded a 10-0 victory after their opponents failed to field a team. A hastily arranged friendly resulted in an action-packed match, narrowly lost via a thrilling golden goal for a makeshift Centrepoint FC line-up including “terrorist” Farnsworth.
Match highlights include: a stellar performance for Bell, including an uprecedented four goal haul; an improbable hat-trick for “friendly” Stickland; a rare and mercifully brief outfield appearance for Hawkins; Wessely losing his cool; enemy terrorism from Farnsworth.
Sporting Apostrophes end the season in third, the promotion that is theirs by divine right denied thanks to a terrible second half of the season. A terrible injustice!
Score: 7-8
Squad: Bell, Hawkins, Farnsworth, Stickland, Wessely.
Goals: Bell (4), Stickland (3).
N.B. FRIENDLY GOALS ARE STATISTICALLY INSIGNIFICANT!