Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs El Paso
“awaiting photo”
El Paso finally ended Apostrophes fans’ dreams of promotion in what proved to be a lacklustre match for the Super A’s.
“That’s that then,” a resigned Ernest Borgnine told reporters at the post-match press conference. “The champagne has been on ice for longer than I care to remember. We were top of the league, top of the world, but we’ve fallen like a polio-ridden orphan on a bucking bronco. It’s easy to try and point the wretched, crooked, poo-scented finger of blame, and in due course I probably will do.”
With Hawkins and Stickland suspended, Lissimore donned sheathes, his first appearance between the sticks since March. Outfield, the Apostrophes boasted their usual galaxy of stars, but a determined El Paso side, eager to return to division I at the first attempt, thwarted their attempts on goal time and time again.
“How dare they stop the ball from entering their net?” the fans wept, emotional at the outright insolence of their team’s adversaries.
With the full time whistle echoing around the stadium, the sullen, despondent sextet retired to the opulent luxury of their changing palace with little to say to each other. A terrible injustice!
Stats
Score: 2-9
Squad: Correa, Farnsworth, Hinceman, Lissimore, Pacheco, Turner.
Goals: Pacheco (1), Turner (1).