Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Dynamo Kebab
“Wessely winces as the ball approaches his naked, sheathless manfingers”
To the astonishment of the capacity crowd, Sporting Apostrophes’ debut season at Powerleague London City began with a magnificent 7-6 victory against Dynamo Kebab.
“Now they’re liberated from the confines of the Old Street sweatbox the boys have space to really turn on the style” enthused chairman Ernest Borgnine at the post match press conference. “This season is sure to bring goals, excitement, and, inevitably, promotion to Division I.”
The abundance of onion bag violations came courtesy of the ever-scoring Farnsworth, the in-form Turner, a brace from “punisher” Kimberley and an incredible hat-trick from debutant White.
Special plaudits must go to Wessely who bravely defended the Super A’s onion bag sans sheathes.
Sporting Apostrophes start the season with a convincing victory but little sign of appreciation from Shaw Tyre & Exhaust Co. A terrible injustice!
Score: 7-6
Squad: Farnsworth, Kimberley, Turner, Wessely, White.
Goals: Farnsworth (1), Kimberley (2), Turner (1), White (3).
Victory! Get in there!