Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Unsung Heroes
Sunday’s physical encounter of the non-loving kind against Unsung Heroes ended in an unfortunate 7-3 reverse for the world’s greatest football team.
“The boys played with tremendous leidenschaft, an almost sexual passion” commented chairman Ernest Borgnine at the post-match Scientology forum. “With the injured Lissimore bravely donning the sheathes and the substitutes bench a barren, lonely place, the Super A’s put in a brave performance worthy of champions, albeit champions who haven’t won anything and aren’t very good.”
Sporting Apostrophes’ onion bag violations came courtesy of Turner, who continues to shine despite his sinister aboriginal upbringing, plus a brace from lethal scoring weapon McInerney, whose 15 goal return in 13 games makes him favourite to take home the coveted brown plimsole.
Sporting Apostrophes’ are now doomed to end the season in the bottom three of Division I. A terrible injustice!
Score: 3-7
Squad: Hinceman, Kimberley, Lissimore, McInerney, Turner.
Goals: McInerney (2), Turner (1).