Abbreviated match report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Team Wang
“awaiting photo”
It was seven onions apiece in last Sunday’s thrilling division II encounter with old rivals Team Wang.
“Wang have improved immeasurably this season: their league position is not reflective of their endeavours,” remarked Ernest Borgnine. “Naturally, we’re very disappointed, as our promotion campaign looks more fragile as each week passes, but we’re confident that we can bounce back next week.”
Match highlights include: quadruplo-magnifico sex onions from Pacheco; a hat-trick from “terrorist” Farnsworth; a glimpse-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance from Lissimore; sheath tending par excellence from Stickland; midfield dynamism from Wessely; Hinceman’s meatloaf.
Sporting Apostrophes’ hopes of promotion have taken a firm kick in the teeth, but with Borgnine’s comprehensive dental insurance policy the team have every right to remain optimistic. A terrible injustice!
Stats
Score: 7-7
Squad: Farnsworth, Hinceman, Lissimore, Pacheco, Stickland, Wessely.
Goals: Pacheco (4), Farnsworth (3).