Abbreviated Match Report: Sporting Apostrophes vs Flat Back Four
“awaiting picture – coming soon”
It was three onions apiece in Sporting Apostrophes’ ill-tempered encounter with league newcomers Flat Back Four last Sunday.
“They’re filthy, rotten cheats!” chairman Ernest Borgnine protested. “They tried every trick in the book to get Pacheco sin-binned, and, to my dismay, they eventually succeeded. I’m sure their kit must break league regulations too: it’s black and pink vertical penises! How on earth can that be allowed!”
Match highlights include: a jumbo serving of onion bag violations for Pacheco, his first hat-trick for the Super A’s; a man-of-the-match performance from Kimberley, his first of the season; top-drawer handsheathing from multi-use Stickland; a welcome return for “the beast”; another remarkable injury-free performance from the aging Turner; “juryman” Bell delivering justice down the flanks.
As the end of the season nears, Sporting Apostrophes remain rooted in sixth place, the smell of promotion as distant and unrecognisable as a the ghost of Princess Diana. A terrible injustice!
Score: 3-3
Squad: Bell, Hinceman, Kimberley, Pacheco, Stickland, Turner.
Goals: Pacheco (3).