Sporting Apostrophes

McInerney and Jamiroquai present the definitive guide to standing still, goal scoring and jazz funk. Topics include:

• Choosing a good place to stand (includes interactive pull-out map).
• Walking, jogging and running – a trio of crimes worse than rape.
• Achieving a Zen state without neglecting the onion.
• Minimising effort – techniques, how it will prolong your career indefinitely.
• Defending – myths, rumours and why it is pointless.
• Jaco Pastorious discography.
• How to masturbate whilst playing bass guitar.

Priced at just €29,99, the book is an extraordinary bargain that’s not to be missed.