Sporting Apostrophes

“Kenyon always shakes with his right hand before reaching for his penis with his left”

Sporting Apostrophes have once again moved to dismiss tabloid rumours of Hinceman’s big-money move to London rivals Chelsea.

“Listen, I’m sick and tired of this rumour-mongering – he’s going nowhere,” chairman Ernest Borgnine reiterated during his daily press conference. “Granted, we’d listen to offers for ‘Static’ [McInerney] and we couldn’t give away Kimberley, but everyone else is untouchable.”