Do you want to win new business, impress existing clients and add a GUARANTEED MINIMUM of 1″ to your penile girth? If so, why not consider sponsoring the Sporting Apostrophes, the world’s favourite football team!
* Your logo KISSED on the shirt before each match, using an UNSEEMLY amount of tongue.
* Your company GOLDEN SHOWERED with praise on the ONLY official Sporting Apostrophes website (http://sportingapostrophes.com).
* A LIMITED EDITION team photo signed by Apostrophes legends, past and present.
* Lifetime FREE ENTRY to Sporting Apostrophes fixtures, home and away, including internationals, cup competitions and friendlies.
* Enjoy DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY within the boundaries of the City of London.
* Privileged, UNFETTERED access to post-match drinks in the Players’ Lounge.
* Form a LIFELONG, PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP with a player of your choice.
* EXCLUSIVE ACCESS to Sporting Apostrophes team and fixture news via email.
Please email [email protected] to take advantage of this UNMISSABLE opportunity!