Sporting Apostrophes

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Posted on July 8, 2009

Farnsworth seeks end to onion famine

Posted under Off the record

Farnsworth Disappointed

“Farnsworth licks the air with disgust after missing a penalty against Frutti di Mare”

Sporting Apostrophes’ all-time record scorer Farnsworth has reiterated his desire for onion bag violations following this season’s disappointing haul of just four goals to date.

“I scored 24 last season, and 22 the season before, so I am quite frankly outraged that people dare question my thirst for goals,” the Yorkshireman raged. “I’ve missed a few matches this season thanks to my persistent wedding injury, but I’m the Rotherham Schwarzenegger: I’ll be back.”

Farnsworth’s next appearance will be against Team Wang on Sunday, the team against which he scored his first halfdozerlation.

2 Responses to “Farnsworth seeks end to onion famine”

  1. A persistent wedding injury sounds costly.

  2. […] exception of Stickland, whose last goal came over a year ago. “guarantee” Farnsworth delivered on his promises with stereo violations, while Pacheco added to his impressive tally of 9 from 7, putting pressure […]